Interventions aren’t just the fodder for dramatic (and sometimes funny) scenes in your favorite TV show or movie. They are a real-life tool used by the friends, co-workers and family members of a drug addict or alcoholic. When the people around an addict have finally had enough and want to help the addict change his or her life, an intervention can be one of the most effective ways of doing so.
Put simply, an intervention is a group meeting where the loved ones of an addict confront the individual about the consequences of the addiction and the effect it is having on every member of the group. Interventions are planned ahead of time so that everyone can practice what they want to say. It is also important to have a plan for what to do after the intervention is over. If the addict can’t confront their addiction and start handling it immediately, loved ones have to put consequences into effect. If the addict does want to handle the situation, a plan has to be in place to start doing so as well.
Interventions, when carefully planned and run, can be incredibly successful. You can, however, also make major mistakes. Here are three things that you don’t want to do during an intervention.
1. Don’t get angry
Interventions can be very touchy. The addict may be surprised or angry to find himself being confronted by his family and friends. Addicts build up defenses about their addictions, and they are very good at justifying their behavior to themselves and others. When you start talking to the addict about the damage he is doing to himself and others, he may be dismissive of your concerns or even try to antagonize you. It’s incredibly important to not get angry.
If you get angry at an addict during an intervention, you’ve already lost. If you get into a shouting match or start losing your own temper, you can make it very easy for the addict to get up and walk out of the room. Worse, you’ll have given him yet another excuse to point to of how the “world is against him.” Rather, you need to be calm and supportive the entire time. It’s hard for the addict to get sympathy or justify his behavior when everyone around him is being firm but calm.
2. Don’t gang up on the addict
If ever there was a situation where it was important to take your turn, it’s this one. Just like showing anger can make the already sensitive situation turn bad quickly, so can talking out of turn. Everyone at the intervention will be there because they want to say something to the addict. It’s only natural that the meeting might get emotional. The addict might start lying to your faces about some aspect of the situation, and you feel the urge to cut him off. Or, perhaps you feel someone else at the intervention is not being firm enough and you want to jump in to “strengthen” what they’re saying.
Avoid the urge to do any of these. They can very quickly make it feel like you’re ganging up on the addict and damage the process. Instead, have one person lead the intervention and choose who will speak, and in what order.
3. Don’t be afraid to say what you really think
While it’s important not to get angry and not to gang up on the addict, it is very important to tell the addict what you really think. The only reason interventions can be effective at all is because they give the addict’s loved ones an opportunity to lay down the law and demand he or she start “walking the straight and narrow path.” Don’t be afraid to say what you really think to the addict—it could make the difference in actually convincing him or her to seek help.
