Substance abuse and addiction adversely affects not only the user, but all those who are in some way connected to the individual using. Families of the drug addict or alcoholic suffer the most hardship, and often live in daily fear and emotional pain. It can be fear of the phone call which informs of an arrest or a death by overdose. It can be fear of financial ruin, or of experiencing violence at the hands of the addict or alcoholic. It can be the pain of knowing your child is lying to you, and stealing from you. It can be the pain of broken promises, or failed attempts at rehab. It can be the emotional pain of giving-up on someone you love. When an addict or alcoholic is part of a family, he or she is not alone, and all involved are part of getting and staying sober.
One Family’s Story
A recent online article featured the story of one family whose son fell into the trap of substance abuse, the damage it caused the family, and what the family needed to do to help their son get sober.
At age 25, their son now has one year sober as of December, 2014. His battle with addiction began when he was in high school, and it started with his smoking marijuana. Next came prescription painkillers, and his descent into the addiction lifestyle unfolded from there.
By the time this young man was in his senior year in high school, he was using and selling hard drugs. When arrested by the police, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, and the prescription drugs Xanax and Vicodin, were all found in his car.
In total, his drug-related jail time ended-up being fifteen long months.
His family reacted as many do. Initially, his parents denied and did not want to admit to themselves what they were seeing happen with their son. Like many parents, they thought they could fix what was wrong on their own. They said their prayers, and hid the fact of their son’s arrest from their friends.
As is common to addiction, the situation deteriorated, forcing the family to face some painful situations. Two overdoses, one of which almost cost their son his life, stretched the situation to the limit. Yet, their son was still not ready to change.
The family made two decisions which were ultimately to change the course of their son’s addiction. One was to put their trust in God. The second decision was to stop enabling their son by ceasing to hire pricey attorneys and by refusing to put him in expensive rehabilitation centers.
It was following these family decisions that the young man accepted the help of a public defender, entering a county facility; and began to take some responsibility for his own life.
Currently working part-time, living in a sober living home, and participating in his worship team, he has achieved the goal of one year sober.
Family Tips
The above true-life story gives one some insight into how a family can help an addict get and keep their sobriety. While each family has its own dynamics, there are certain basic actions a family can take, and the following can act as a helpful guideline.
Learn the Truth about Drugs
Drug education is vital to understanding the risks and dangers of drug and alcohol use, and the signs and symptoms that someone is using or abusing drugs or alcohol. Get educated, get informed, and share the knowledge with children and youth in your family.
Set a Good Example
Parents and family members can set a good example for each other, and for other people in general by not using drugs or alcohol themselves.
Teach Life Skills
So many young people turn to drugs because they lack the life skills necessary to deal with the problems and situations they face in life. Teach a strong moral code, a strong sense of right and wrong, and place a high value on a good education, a strong work ethic, and competency in life.
Prevent Misuse of Drugs and Alcohol
If prescription drugs or alcohol are kept in the home, parents and adult family members must ensure these are locked-up and secure, and are not available to children our youth in the home.
The family is the closest-knit, self-protecting group in our life experience. Ensure the lines of communication stay open amongst family members, and that children and teens know they can come to their parents for help, rather than turning to drugs.