Enabling means providing the opportunity or the means to do something; making a person able to be something, or to do something. More broadly, it includes the concept of making something possible, practical or easy. Thus, with that understanding, one can better assess what actions he or she might be engaged in which are somehow enabling a person to continue to be a drug user.
Enabling Another
Providing help to another person when he or she can and should be handling the situation or the obligation or the task themselves—as well as experiencing the consequences of failing to do so– is the basic way of enabling another.
A human being’s desire to help another is one of the strongest and most redeeming qualities of human nature. Well-intentioned people do not want to see another suffer or fail or experience dire and destructive consequences, especially if it is their child, a family member, or a loved one
In a situation where another is using and abusing drugs, it is the determination of what constitutes actual help as differentiated from contributing to the person’s destructive conduct by somehow enabling them to continue to use.
With the knowledge that, for most addicts, there will be only three possible outcomes of their substance abuse—sobriety, prison, or death—it becomes all the more vital to ascertain what actions will actually help the drug user to overcome their addiction; and what actions will onl serve to further enable them in their destructive conduct.
Five Ways to Stop Enabling
There are a number of scenarios and situations which are common to the drug user and the addiction lifestyle to which family and friends will be exposed. It is not uncommon for the substance abuser to spend all his or her money on drugs—and have none leftover to pay rent; to pawn all of his or her possessions in order to buy drugs and therefore be without the basic necessities; to go on a binge of alcohol or drug use and as a result cannot get themselves out of bed in the morning to fulfill their responsibilities and obligations; or to drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol and lose his or driver’s license as a result of a conviction—and the list goes on.
It is a given that such situations and circumstances are upsetting and difficult to face-up to; but it is vital to keep in mind the results of the decisions made. It is those results which will determine whether the action taken is help—or just another way to enable further drug use and its more dire consequences down the road.
Learn the Facts of Addiction
The subject of drug and alcohol abuse–what causes it and how to resolve it–is awash with different theories and different approaches to treatment. An excellent reference for understanding the fundamentals of addiction and addictive behavior is The Life Cycle and Mechanics of Addiction by Gary W. Smith, Executive Director Narconon Arrowhead.
Stop Making Excuses
If you hear yourself making excuses for the addict or the alcoholic and his or her behavior; his or her failure to stop using or drinking; his or her failure to quit when life depends on it; and making excuses for why the person abuses alcohol or drugs—then it is time to stop. Experience has taught that nothing good will come of it.
Stop Blaming Others
The reason a person abuses drugs or alcohol is because he or she made a decision to use it as a solution to a problem. The fact that use and abuse has now spiraled out of control is a consequence to that decision. Blaming others—the husband, the wife, the mother, the father, the boss, the teacher, whomever—is not the real source of the problem, nor will it result in a resolution of the problem.
Allow the Person to Experience Consequences
Life is filled with consequences, both good and bad, and everything in between. Bad, short-sighted and irresponsible decisions and choices result in unpleasant or severe consequences. Good, far-sighted and responsible decisions result in pleasant and life-friendly consequences.
When the alcoholic or addict experiences the consequences of his or her decisions and his or her actions, it can serve as an impetus for change.
Support Any Efforts to Change
When the alcoholic or addict expresses the desire to change their condition or to somehow escape the trap of addiction, it is something you will want to be prepared to support. Get informed as to what rehabilitation resources are available, with special attention to drug-free and faith-based programs.
Getting Treatment
Do your due-diligence, and know what drug rehabilitation programs are available. Look for outcome-based results and the acquisition of the life skills necessary to attain and maintain long-term sobriety.
And when conventional approaches are not working, there are alternatives which can be pursued before giving-up.
For help in overcoming addiction, please visit www.narcononarrowhead.org