A Life-changing Experience

When I got to Narconon, I was in really bad shape.

I started using marijuana around 12 years old after my neighbor gave some to me. Then, when I was 15 years old, I started using cocaine. I can’t say I liked either at first because you know you are doing something bad. But then I got used to it. I lost a lot because of drugs. I lost my kids, my family, my mom and dad, and my friends.

The years before I got to Narconon Arrowhead were really the lowest I had ever been in my life. I got here with drugs still in my pocket and had given up on life a long time ago.

When I got here, I had no idea where I was going; I just knew I had to get out of my hometown. I was pretty close to death. I had stopped eating and sleeping and had pretty much given up on life. I got here, did the Withdrawal, and slept for 4 days, slowly getting out of the cycle I was in. Right from the beginning, I saw how much care there was from the staff. They cared about me and my sobriety. They were total strangers, so this was weird to me, but it’s what kept me here: how dedicated the staff are to helping people.

I started the sauna program, and although it was hot, I got all the drugs out of my system, and I started to feel better almost instantly. The more time I spent in there, the better I felt.

I moved on to Objectives (procedures to increase awareness in the present moment), and that, to me, was the hardest part of the program. I learned how to deal with things with a sober mind. I guess I was so used to dealing with things the “normal way,” which was getting messed up, that when I went through it, I didn’t know what to do. When I completed the Objectives, I got this sense of power that I could do anything—it was crazy.

After that, I did Life Skills (courses) and realized I had done a lot of damage to people when I thought I was just hurting myself. It was a really life-changing experience.

As I went through the program, I noticed that my communication improved. The way I talked to people was better, and I would actually listen. Before, I would just talk to talk, and I wouldn’t really listen. This was a big step for me.

Another thing that changed was the way I felt about myself. I learned just to be happy about normal everyday things. I had given up on life and everything before. I didn’t feel I had anything left to live for and didn’t put importance on anything. Then, one day, while at Narconon Arrowhead, I saw the sunset and how beautiful it was and realized what I had been missing out on for the last 10 years.

The way I see things has also changed. I was really negative and angry when I got here. Slowly, the anger went away. It was a cool experience. I figured out that I was angry about all the wrong things.

The program completely removed my cravings. More than anything, it put in my head that there is a lot more to life than just drugs. I can hang out with people without using drugs, and I can deal with life. It’s a pretty cool feeling.

Graduating felt amazing. It was a tough process but well worth it. The feeling I have about myself and completing the program is hard to explain, but it was worth the wait. I feel amazing.

“Now I look forward to living life, being a part of my kids’ life, reconnecting with my family, and not taking anything for granted. I’ll make the best out of everyday things—the small things. And be grateful that I’m here and sober and alive.”

Now, my relationship with my family is great. I thought that I would have to rebuild it with my parents as I had burned so many bridges. I didn’t think they would care anymore, but I was completely wrong about that and a lot of other things. They’ve always been there, but I was blind to it due to drugs. Now, I express how I feel with my loved ones and am not so self-centered. I recently saw my kids while sober for the first time in years.

For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with myself and look forward to the future I want to live again, when before I was just waiting to die. Even if you think about the past or the future, you have to do it now.

If you’re suffering from addiction, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and just because you’ve given up on life doesn’t mean it’s given up on you.

If you get a chance to come to this program, trust the process. It works.

—A.M., Narconon Arrowhead Graduate