Moving Forward

 

Hello, my name is Dale L. I’m 46 years old from New Mexico, and since completing the Narconon program in Oklahoma, I can honestly say my life has changed dramatically from a life going downhill in a hurry due to substance abuse and very bad influences surrounding me to a much better life and a way more meaningful, lasting relationship with family and loved ones.

I, like many people, started doing drugs right out of high school, and for the longest time, it seemed I was fairly happy with who I was and how I was living, not really noticing or caring too much about how I was viewed or thought of by others. What I didn’t comprehend is that those who really cared about me didn’t get much attention from me throughout the years. I built up a wall between them because of what they might find out, such as how different their daily lives were from mine, or what and how I was really doing.

It wasn’t until I started getting in trouble with the law that I was persuaded to make different choices in order to get through the hell I had gotten myself into. I was embarrassed, angry, and very surprised to think that it would take losing everything I ever worked for practically my whole life to actually make a change to let go of all the crud breaking me down. I lost my house, my spouse, my kiddo, you name it. I also lost all the people I would have given the shirt off my back to.

I was putting my family through hell having to deal with my complete lack of reason and my not wanting to hear it or accept the position I was in. Still trying to get through to me was probably the best thing that I could have hoped for. Finally, my mom convinced me to go to rehab.

“I’m so thankful for my mother refusing to give up on me. Without her, I doubt I would be here now writing this success story.”

I’m so thankful for my mother refusing to give up on me. Without her, I doubt I would be here now writing this success story.

If you keep going, keep on trying to roll with the punches, build that relationship with your partner and the other people there going through the same thing, you start to notice that big gaping hole in your chest making your day-to-day seem so monotonous get smaller and softer, and then it finally starts growing again without the void and the incredible amount of pain you haven’t been paying attention to for so long. Finally, you can care again and remember laughter that’s wholesome and not the fake or belittling kind. Your feelings start to work for the good again.

Now that I look back on each win and everything that happened to me there, I can honestly say I’m so thankful I endured to the end. Narconon and their staff taught me how to maintain and be humble more than any of you could possibly know. My time at Narconon was an experience I’ll never forget. From the turtle I named Scuttle out in the front driveway there at Narconon to the relationship I still have with others who went through the course with me, it’s so humbling.

There are so many things about the program I still use today. For instance, I know that I don’t let my feelings control my actions like before. Raising my voice to get a reaction or point across is totally unnecessary, and realizing that blaming things such as drugs or other things to be the cause of my failures isn’t really the case at all. It’s only me that makes something happen. I’m able to accept fault without blame. The real reason anything happens, good or bad, is due to my own actions and decisions, not the drugs or another person. Putting other things or people to be the cause or blame of anything only gives it power over you, which can lead to real problems, especially with things like that word “addiction.” Once I understood I was the controlling factor and knew that my needs and wants didn’t have to control me either, I started to make sound choices. Things going on around me got better.

One of the best things I gained is to be able to look at someone and not be all worried that they might suspect me of being high. And that saying “no” wasn’t the end of the world, or that I needed to relate. There’s nothing better than finding myself in a situation where, sticking out or not, being the same didn’t really matter anymore. I look forward to loving myself again like I used to instead of dwelling on the past and amounting to nothing or some kind of disappointment.

It’s awesome to overcome obstacles like addiction or new beginnings when you know that you don’t have to worry so much about failure anymore. I’m now back to experiencing a whole new world of possibilities while taking my time with each and every new adventure so as to enjoy it all to the fullest and not miss a thing. Except this time, I’ve got so many better people to take along, and I appreciate knowing I can still count on them through thick and thin.

I’ve been clean and free from dope thanks to the staff there in Canadian, Oklahoma, at Narconon Arrowhead. I hope they know how much I appreciate each and every one of them. Thank you all so much!!

For those of you who decide to do the program, it’s not gonna make the rest of your life all peaches and cream, but it does give you the time you may need to flip the script and work out the things that are bugging in your life. For me, I was able to repair my relationship with my family. I found out who’s really gonna be there for me when it all hits the fan, and not just them, but me being there for them also. It’s not just my family—it’s people like Narconon staff members Elaine and Kris, my partner on the program, and so many others I met there.

Dale L., Narconon Graduate 2020