My Family Now Sees ME, Not the Person My Addiction Turned Me Into

Audi M., Narconon Arrowhead Graduate
Audi M., Narconon Arrowhead Graduate

I was born in Abilene, Texas, and raised in Clovis, New Mexico. I lived with my grandmother and older sister, Lacy. My mom and dad were in and out of prison while I was growing up and my grandmother was the one who took care of us and sheltered us from those kinds of things. We went to school and my grandmother made sure that we always were together for dinner at the end of the day. We would all sit around and talk about our day. I had a very normal and routine upbringing. My grandmother gave my sister and me a very good life and home with lots of love and care.

When I was 16, I got pregnant, and giving birth to my first son was one of the happiest days of my life. Having a kid while you’re still a kid yourself is scary, but still one of the best moments of my life. But then, I started using drugs when I was 17. My life went downhill quickly after I started using. I lost my kids, my family, my friends, jobs and my stability. You name it, I lost it.

A friend of mine told me about Narconon, he had done the program and has been clean for 18 years and he suggested I do it. My husband called Narconon and my grandmother made it happen! Before I knew it, I was there.

When I first got to Narconon, I felt like crap. I hated every bit of it. But the Withdrawal staff were wonderful and I was determined to get some help and stick through it. My first major win in the program was during sauna, I had no feeling in my arm where I had used drugs due to neuropathy. Even when I would get clean time under my belt, the loss of feeling in my arm would not go away. During the sauna, I got the feeling back and I started to gain more faith in the program.

My second win was that when I used to wake up every morning, looking for my drugs was like a reflex, something second nature ingrained in my brain. Waking up for the first time without that happened about a month into the program and that was an amazing thing to not wake up with that “reflex” anymore.

My biggest win was when it finally clicked for me and I knew I never have to use drugs again.

When I graduated from the Narconon program it was great, this was the hardest and most rewarding thing I have done for myself. I am looking forward to never having to leave my kids again because of drugs, and I am looking forward to never having issues with my husband over drugs.

My proudest accomplishment is completing this program. I am prouder of myself than I have ever been. I have done many difficult things in my life, things most people have only see on TV or read about in books, but this was the hardest thing I have ever done and it was worth it! Every bit! The thing I love is being able to wake up happy.

“What I love most is that when my family looks at me,
I can tell they are looking at ME and they SEE ME,
not what the addiction turned me into.”

But what I love most is that when my family looks at me, I can tell they are looking at ME and they SEE ME, not what the addiction turned me into. To anyone out there who has tried and failed, my advice is this… Do the Narconon program, it’s not “sounds like help,” it is real, genuine lasting help.

—Audi M., Narconon Arrowhead Graduate


Elaine M.

Elaine has always loved helping people and has always focused on service, which led her to Narconon Arrowhead in 2017. She soon discovered that her true passion is helping people regain control of their lives through drug and alcohol rehabilitation. She is currently Executive Director of Narconon Arrowhead. In her spare time, Elaine enjoys crocheting and cuddling with her cats.